Saturday, December 29, 2007

A Child

4:45:42 PM funkychixxo94: heyy
4:45:57 PM Pirate: hey
4:46:37 PM funkychixxo94: hu is this
4:46:43 PM funkychixxo94: ??????????????????/
4:46:56 PM Pirate: i am no one you know, so delete me off your buddy list
4:47:25 PM funkychixxo94: how do u no u r on my buddy list
4:47:27 PM funkychixxo94: ?
4:47:42 PM Pirate: i assume you didnt randomly type Pirate into a blank IM window
4:47:51 PM Pirate: i assume you double clicked on my name in your buddy list
4:48:00 PM funkychixxo94: no
4:49:07 PM funkychixxo94: wat r u talking bout
4:49:09 PM funkychixxo94: ???????
4:49:29 PM Pirate: obviously, i am talking about how i made the assumption that I am on your buddy list
4:50:27 PM funkychixxo94: uh yea cuz i saw ur name in the chat room
4:50:36 PM Pirate: i am not in any chat room
4:50:54 PM funkychixxo94: not now but like 2 weeks ago
4:51:05 PM Pirate: this name does not go into any chat rooms
4:51:39 PM funkychixxo94:  yes ur name was in it
4:51:48 PM Pirate: no, a name like mine was in it
4:51:59 PM Pirate: but this name or myself in particular was not in any chat room
4:52:09 PM funkychixxo94: but wat is ur name
4:52:15 PM Pirate: <--Pirate
4:52:25 PM funkychixxo94: no like ur real name
4:52:27 PM funkychixxo94: ?
4:52:29 PM funkychixxo94: duh
4:52:41 PM Pirate: there is a zero chance that i reveal my real name to you
4:53:02 PM funkychixxo94: fine if u wont tell me ur name i will guess
4:53:09 PM funkychixxo94: do u go to LMS
4:53:24 PM Pirate: what is LMS?
4:53:35 PM funkychixxo94: Lionville middle school
4:53:39 PM Pirate: LOL
4:53:43 PM funkychixxo94: what state do u live
4:53:44 PM funkychixxo94: in
4:53:56 PM Pirate: i have not been in middle school for longer than you have been alive
4:54:28 PM funkychixxo94: how old r u
4:54:52 PM Pirate: it doesnt matter, delete me and never IM me again... you are a child
4:55:09 PM funkychixxo94: um does that mean u r older than 18
4:55:31 PM Pirate: i am sure you can do simple math, if you reread my IM above
4:55:42 PM funkychixxo94: nd i am not a child i am 13
4:55:50 PM Pirate: you are a child
4:55:58 PM funkychixxo94: well at least i can dio math
4:56:09 PM funkychixxo94: no i am not perv
4:56:23 PM funkychixxo94: u r obviosly like 20 or 30
4:56:25 PM Pirate: how am i a perv?  you im'd me, and i have told you to stop

Friday, December 28, 2007

The Coolest Ever...

10:35:43 PM swine: Eric?
10:36:25 PM Pirate: no
10:36:37 PM swine: Oh my bad - sorry for confusion
10:36:49 PM Pirate: no worries
10:37:19 PM swine: Mind telling me who you are then or are you P. Irate haha
10:37:34 PM Pirate: i am Phil Irate
10:37:38 PM swine: you rule
10:37:53 PM Pirate: i know
10:37:58 PM swine: what do you do for a living
10:38:02 PM swine: besides...plunder ships
10:38:05 PM swine: and fight krakens
10:38:17 PM Pirate: pillage the villages
10:38:21 PM swine: ahahaha amazing
10:38:29 PM swine: I love puddles of mud
10:38:36 PM swine: and not the christian band
10:38:57 PM Pirate: oh, i like pieces of eight also
10:39:04 PM swine: is that a band?
10:39:19 PM Pirate: no it is the coin you get from sinking a spanish galleon
10:39:23 PM swine: or maybe i just dropped the ball with the whole pirate / pig thing
10:39:26 PM swine: yeap thought so
10:39:36 PM swine: people pickle my feet
10:39:45 PM Pirate: bacon tastes good
10:40:11 PM swine: i agree, im saving some bacon for when a cancer cure wipes out the entire human race and turns them into vampires except for a few
10:40:36 PM Pirate: being a vampy pirate would be fun, i would get all the goth chicks then
10:40:48 PM swine: agreed, i mean what pirate wouldnt want to be with a goth chick
10:40:56 PM swine: a hot one at least
10:41:18 PM swine: i think, the internet, has lost its luster, or as you get older it does. do you get wifi on your ship
10:41:43 PM Pirate: i get it all on my ship
10:41:52 PM swine: ahaha is it a ghalleon or what
10:41:58 PM swine: got rims on it and stuff?
10:42:08 PM Pirate: it has sails and a wooden bow
10:42:23 PM swine: got a maiden on the front
10:42:40 PM Pirate: yah, but she died since we left her tied there
10:42:49 PM swine: the bones should scare everyone though
10:42:53 PM swine: so it works out
10:42:54 PM Pirate: jolly roger
10:43:03 PM swine: i get seasick
10:43:03 PM swine: do you?
10:43:34 PM Pirate: i do, but the rum fixes that
10:43:40 PM swine: rum is out of control
10:43:45 PM swine: i had an encounter with it last week
10:43:51 PM swine: was not a favorable outcome
10:44:03 PM swine: do pirates have iphones
10:44:04 PM Pirate: more of an upcome?
10:44:09 PM swine: downcome totally
10:44:26 PM Pirate: i dont think pirates care for the iphone
10:45:07 PM swine: the damn sword must interfere
10:45:27 PM swine: would you rather be a ninja or a pirate
10:45:31 PM swine: because, i'd go ninja
10:45:37 PM swine: but thats different for each person
10:45:48 PM Pirate: ninja's are weak, it took a few samurai to take them all down
10:46:00 PM Pirate: it took two imperial navies to bring down the pirates
10:46:14 PM Pirate: and there are still pirates off the coast of africa today
10:46:23 PM swine: really do they plunder food
10:46:44 PM Pirate: they plunder ships and hold folks hostage, just like the old days
10:46:57 PM swine: wow, in the life aquatic you see some pirates
10:47:02 PM swine: they take the dog
10:47:15 PM swine: wow, you beat ninjas ass in aimfight
10:47:24 PM swine: i wonder how you fair against samurai
10:47:28 PM Pirate: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piracy#Modern_victims
10:47:55 PM swine: i think they have them in the indonesias(*sp)
10:48:44 PM swine: what about templars how would you do against them
10:48:47 PM swine: they were pretty crazy
10:49:33 PM Pirate: templars got money hungry and the king of france put them out of business
10:49:40 PM swine: true story
10:49:52 PM swine: facists were pretty crazy
10:50:07 PM swine: i want the spear of destiny do you have a map to its location
10:51:13 PM Pirate: go play wolfenstein, and you will find it
10:51:20 PM swine: AHAHA
10:51:22 PM swine: dude you rule
10:51:44 PM swine: too bad you cant find it in oblivion
10:52:17 PM Pirate: well there is the soul stealing sword in oblivion
10:52:21 PM swine: the umbra
10:52:28 PM swine: but it fails in comparison to the damn unicon
10:52:31 PM swine: unicorn*
10:52:32 PM Pirate: yah that was it.. i could not think of the name
10:52:38 PM swine: who freaks out
10:52:39 PM Pirate: i never saw the unicorn
10:52:40 PM swine: and is like
10:52:45 PM swine: dude, lemmie wiki find it
10:52:51 PM swine: if you go near it and draw a weapon
10:52:52 PM swine: it freaks out
10:53:02 PM swine: if you dont have a weapon, you can ride it
10:54:04 PM swine: its no spear of destiny, but what is
10:54:18 PM Pirate: true...
10:54:23 PM Pirate: i am off, have a nice night
10:54:28 PM swine: take it easy phil
10:54:31 PM swine: :)

Friday, December 14, 2007

What is a 44?

8:14:13 PM graspwisdom: Tell your 44 friend to add me
8:14:37 PM Pirate: uh, what?
8:14:41 PM graspwisdom: do it
8:14:49 PM Pirate: hey 44 add this idiot
8:14:58 PM graspwisdom: yeah, go ahead
8:15:05 PM Pirate: who or what is a 44?
8:15:25 PM graspwisdom: right
8:15:32 PM Pirate: left
8:15:36 PM graspwisdom: fat fook (Note: edited for content)
8:15:43 PM Pirate: stupid kid
8:15:52 PM graspwisdom: so you're fat?
8:15:52 PM graspwisdom: LOLOL
8:15:56 PM graspwisdom: very funny
8:16:04 PM Pirate: must mean you are a kid
8:16:12 PM graspwisdom: even if I WERE a kid, that's no insult
8:16:15 PM graspwisdom: you being fat
8:16:17 PM graspwisdom: should be an insult
8:16:21 PM graspwisdom: sorry, fat fook. (Note: edited for content)
8:16:38 PM Pirate: you have no idea if i am or not, you are just trying to get a rise from me
8:16:46 PM graspwisdom: oh, i know you are.
8:17:00 PM Pirate: and i could care less what a child thinks
8:17:21 PM graspwisdom: you should, because this child's intellect goes beyond yours
8:17:23 PM graspwisdom: fatty
8:17:49 PM Pirate: oh i am sure you are so much brighter than me, since i dont know what a 44 is
8:18:03 PM graspwisdom: :)
8:19:02 PM Pirate: so have a good time with your 44

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Myspace Webcam Ho

8:50:02 PM kickflipkatie: hey
8:50:08 PM kickflipkatie: its KatiexCore (Note: this is her myspace name)
8:50:14 PM Pirate: who?
8:50:19 PM kickflipkatie: chick
8:50:22 PM kickflipkatie: this girl
8:50:30 PM kickflipkatie: from the webcam thingy
8:50:39 PM kickflipkatie: i hope i gots the right AIM
8:50:47 PM Pirate: um ok.. the right aim for what?
8:50:55 PM kickflipkatie: rofl
8:50:57 PM kickflipkatie: whos this
8:51:07 PM kickflipkatie: ?'
8:51:17 PM Pirate: you im'd me, who are you?
8:51:39 PM kickflipkatie: katie, i dont kno if im talking to the right person. so whos this
8:51:58 PM Pirate: i am positive you are talking to the wrong person
8:52:04 PM kickflipkatie: ummm
8:52:07 PM kickflipkatie: r u sure
8:52:23 PM Pirate: where did you meet this other person named pirate?
8:52:29 PM kickflipkatie: myspace'
8:52:40 PM kickflipkatie: lol
8:52:42 PM Pirate: yah, i so dont have a myspace
8:52:49 PM kickflipkatie: why not?
8:52:57 PM Pirate: it is for children and losers
8:53:02 PM kickflipkatie: gee thanx
8:53:06 PM kickflipkatie: i dont really like it
8:53:16 PM kickflipkatie: its just to get updates on my fave bands
8:53:32 PM Pirate: what is your fave band?  fallout boy?
8:53:38 PM kickflipkatie: fook no  (Note: edited for language)
8:53:48 PM Pirate: at least you have some taste
8:53:52 PM kickflipkatie: lol
8:53:54 PM Pirate: mypace not withstanding
8:53:54 PM kickflipkatie: thnx
8:54:00 PM kickflipkatie: ?
8:54:08 PM Pirate: what do you want from me?
8:54:11 PM kickflipkatie: idk
8:54:14 PM kickflipkatie: i thought
8:54:24 PM kickflipkatie: u were someone else so we started talking
8:54:25 PM kickflipkatie: im sryu
8:54:29 PM kickflipkatie: sry**
8:54:32 PM Pirate: yah, you should be sorry
8:54:39 PM kickflipkatie: geeze

Uf Wow!

8:26:07 PM ufwow: who's this?
8:26:28 PM Pirate: who is this?  as i have no idea who you are
8:26:36 PM ufwow: me either
8:26:49 PM Pirate: then you should just delete me from your buddy list
8:26:59 PM ufwow: who r u tho?
8:27:07 PM Pirate: <--pirate
8:27:20 PM ufwow: ur real name plz
8:27:32 PM Pirate: like i would give that out to a complete stranger on the internet
8:27:40 PM ufwow: screw you
8:27:49 PM ufwow: AS IF!
8:27:53 PM Pirate: so nasty

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Pirate on the Phone

10:39:07 AM +12055158100: 83x: im not sure might go 2 my moms what are u doin
10:45:55 AM Pirate: i am jerking off today
10:45:55 AM +12055158100 (Autoreply): Your IM has been sent to my mobile device. When I receive it, I will be able to reply. Thanks for your IM!
10:46:30 AM +12055158100: Did u have a good bday
10:47:05 AM Pirate: yes, i killed two little kids ... and i bathed in their blood
10:55:22 AM +12055158100: Ahh lovely i miss u! we need 2 hang out soon what r u doin the rest of the week
10:56:25 AM Pirate: i think i might have to do some self-multilation, and get a tattoo of the word SLUT on my forearm
10:58:03 AM +12055158100: Huh i know u would not do such a thing
10:58:21 AM Pirate: oh i would.. i have the razor blade out now
10:59:28 AM +12055158100: Take it easy now
10:59:47 AM Pirate: i am not going to type here anymore, i might get blood on the keyboard.  call me if you want to talk

Friday, November 2, 2007

Active Identity

11:34:57 AM nicholapike: Do you know how to activate this stupid bastard keyfob thing? they sent me an address to activate it, but it doesnt work- the address I mean
11:39:06 AM Pirate: i have no idea what you are talking about
11:40:46 AM nicholapike: you k ow the Activeidentity fob thing
11:41:38 AM Pirate: oh that thing, what is the serial number on the back of it?
11:41:53 AM nicholapike: 0754784769
11:42:06 AM Pirate: have you set up a password on it yet?
11:42:19 AM nicholapike: nope- cant get to any sites to do it
11:42:31 AM Pirate: weird
11:42:37 AM Pirate: who do you think i am anyway?
11:42:54 AM nicholapike: well I think you are lovely pete
11:43:03 AM nicholapike: but anyway- SHL told me you might know
11:43:17 AM Pirate: well my name is not Pete, and i have no idea who you are or SHL is
11:43:38 AM Pirate: but thanks for the serial number!
11:43:42 AM nicholapike: hehe
11:45:16 AM nicholapike: well who the chuff are ya then, as this is Petes AIM
11:46:00 AM Pirate: this is not Pete's aim ... i have had it for a very long time
11:46:08 AM nicholapike: lol
11:46:39 AM nicholapike: ah ok- sorry you are a diff pirate!
11:48:29 AM Pirate: of course i am
11:48:57 AM nicholapike: Apologies- there I was thinkng you were about to tell me how to work this thingy
11:49:26 AM Pirate: well I can tell you how to work your "thingy" but it is not the thingy you are thinking
11:49:30 AM nicholapike: lol
11:49:32 AM nicholapike: haha
11:49:43 AM nicholapike: thanks anyway for the "advice"
11:50:05 AM Pirate: quite welcome, and use small circles and direct pressure
11:50:18 AM nicholapike: LMAO